Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Thursday, June 27, 2002

A few quick words on the NBA draft. As a Sixers fan, I'm pretty underwhelmed by all of our tricky maneuverings. The other day our antiquated head coach Larry Brown, who has entirely too much say in personnel decisions, responded to rumors that the Sixers were looking to reacquire talented but erratic guard Larry Hughes from the hapless Golden State Warriors. "I'm sick that he's not here," said Brown, who, personality-wise, puts the "phleg" in phlegmatic. You're sick that he's not here? Then why the hell did you trade him in the first place? And for Toni Kukoc of all people. They call Kukoc "The Waiter" because he serves people up. You know what he served up at the First Union Center? A big, steaming pile of dung in paint.

Other draft notes: The talk is that, since the Cavaliers picked up Dajuan Wagner, they're going to trade Andre Miller. Can someone tell me why they would want to trade their only good player and the best point guard in the Eastern Conference behind Jason Kidd and Baron Davis? Why not keep Miller and draft a Caron Butler or a Chris Wilcox? And Indiana is getting panned for drafting Oregon's Freddie Jones "too high." I don't know, he looked pretty good to me in the NCAA tournament: super-athletic, can light it up from outside. The Pacers already have most of the pieces in place. They just need to mature.

Ken Layne links to this brief New York Daily News story about displaced rats becoming a problem in downtown Manhattan around Ground Zero. But there's a better description in William Langewiesche's article in the new Atlantic Monthly about how rats from all over the city were coursing towards Ground Zero during the excavation, presumably attracted by, among other things, decaying human bodies. I'll provide the quote when I remember where that issue got to. At any rate, two different but equally disturbing images -- one of rats being stirred up like a hornet's nest, the other of an underground river of vermin flowing towards the freshly tilled urban infrastructure at Ground Zero. Enjoy your lunch!

.: posted by hornswaggler 1:12 PM

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