Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

The Redskins are going into camp, Steve Spurrier says, with Sage Rosenfels as their No. 1 quarterback, not Shane Matthews or Danny Wuerffel. Really, it doesn't matter which of those stiffs plays. We are going to smear those idiots all over the field.

My Robert Randolph review is up at Jambands.com. It's not great, but you can check it out here if you so desire. The editor removed my initial buzz front-loading comment about Bimbo's drinks being notoriously expensive, which renders context-less the opening of the fourth graf. Also excised was a description of the game room (with neon air hockey table) at Kennedy's. So the reader isn't getting the full-bore Kennedy's experience. (There's also an outdoor patio.) Any other regrets, you ask? Sure, there's a few, like the demilitarized zone reference for the area between North Beach and the Wharf. Trying to find a funny way to put that No Man's Land. I probably should have just said that (NML), or even the inside joke, "Good Man's Land." Anything but what I did write, which doesn't convey what I was trying to say and isn't funny.

Another phrase I don't like, besides my use of "decrim"? "Cum." This term/spelling has been seeping into non-hardcore porn usage and it creeps me out. I don't "cum." I "come." That is some vulgar shit. I don't know how it got to be so prevalent, but it's got to go. Am I going to have to start stipulating in advance my spelling to sexual partners? "Listen, when I say I'm going to, you know, climax, just so you know, um, I'm going with the traditional spelling of the word there, C O M E. Just an FYI. No, wait, what are you doing? You don't have to leave! How can you not be in the mood anymore? Whaddayou mean not romantic? It's very romantic! It's sphincter-looseningly romantic! It's sincere! Esquire magazine says sincerity is one of the top turn-ons for women in 2002!"

What is wrong with the Israelis? An unprovoked missile attack in the midst of reconciliation efforts? What, does Sharon think the Palestinians won't retaliate by blowing more children to pieces with bombs? They tagged the leader of Hamas. Great. Someone else will step into the breach and throw the next punch in an escalating cycle of violence. What a fucking cunt this guy is.

.: posted by hornswaggler 2:45 PM

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