Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

I don't understand why people record answering machine or voice mail messages that announce the number the caller has reached and not the person(s), to wit: "Hi you've 845-487-4297, we're not in right now, please leave a message." Why the Orwellian number self-designation? Of course the caller knows what number it is, he or she just dialed it. And if the caller gets the number wrong, then he will be able to discern this by virtue of the fact that the name and voice represented on the message differ from those of the person he was trying to reach. Furthermore, if you're calling someone for the first time, then the number doesn't provide you with any additional information to let you know whether you've reached the correct destination.

"I find this voice mail system to be highly illogical, Captain."
"Do you, Spock? Spock, when was the last time you got laid, if you don't mind my asking?"
"I don't see the relevance of your inquiry, Captain. But since you asked -- it was 11 years ago, with a sassy Vulcaness fro ... "
"Go sharpen your ears, Vulky! Kirk's got a hot date with a three-breasted she-beast from the Spermatazoan civilization, where all the women have the looks of Liv Tyler and the sexual mores of Jenna Jameson."

.: posted by hornswaggler 6:13 PM

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