Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Post-Game Analysis: "Order had been restored to the kingdom, and anon were the giblets sizzling on the plate, the flagons filled with mead and the minstrels traipsing through the cloister. The king got into his bedclothes and prepared to retire. A toothsome maiden soon entered and tucked him into his covers up to the chin, his long grey beard stretched over his goose-down comforter. She brushed the tassle of his nightcap off his nose and read him to sleep from 'Harold and the Purple Crayon.' A stupid, content smile creased his face."

I thought my reaction to the Eagles' 37-7 victory over Florida State North would be best represented by this excerpt from the Rather Cumbersome Book of Flapdoodle. Everything I asked for from the Eagles came to pass. I suppose the FBI forwards my posts to coach Andy Reid prior to kickoff, along with the weekly dossier regarding my whereabouts re: the restraining order. This is the luxury the fan of a very good team gets to have early in the season, that of griping about how we could have beaten the team we decimated even worse than we actually did. Because we smeared the Redskins into a fine paste. By the end of the ass-kicking Steve Spurrier was a rhesus monkey desperately needing its wire mother. I'm guessing the fight in the stands that caused security to deploy pepper spray involved the Eagles fans who, it sounded like, were chanting "Trotter." Angry drunk "Hogs" were dispatching either those guys or the dude in the full "Birdman" helmet. I didn't like the disrespect shown to Trotter. I thought Corey Simon's axe chop mockery celebration of a sack was non-classy. For shame, Corey. For shame. And the fans chanting Trotter's name -- there are certain players who get booed by the fans when they leave for a different team and others who are cheered. Trot falls in the latter category.

.: posted by hornswaggler 3:07 AM

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