Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction
Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of
hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my
pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --
"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers,
bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits,
vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers,
buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train
robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"
According to the Associated Press, President Bush didn't see Justin Timberlake expose Janet Jackson's booby during halftime of the Super Bowl, because he had already gone to sleep. The real scandal here is that the president of the United States didn't watch the second half of the Super Bowl. What good is it having a yahoo for a president if he doesn't even watch the Super Bowl? Hell. Nixon would have watched the Super Bowl.
I can see the Democratic attack ads now:
(Announcer with deep, breathy, insidious voice): "George W. Bush claims to be patriotic. He says he loves freedom. But where was the president during the second half of Super Bowl XXXVIII? Asleep in in his cozy White House bed, unconcerned about who won America's most cherished contest. Can a man who doesn't watch the Super Bowl really love America? Can you rely on a president who doesn't even care about the Super Bowl to protect you from terrorists, evildoers who want to destroy the National Football League? No way, Jose.
"Sen. John Kerry loves freedom and he loves football. When the Patriots' Adam Vinatieri kicked that game-winning field goal, John Kerry jumped up from his seat in jubilation, knocking a full beer onto a distant relative. The clothes of George Bush's relatives remained completely dry. If George Bush doesn't care about the Super Bowl, what does he care about? John Kerry will protect American freedom and the football that is nestled in her bosom. George Bush hates NASCAR, and he hates you. In 2004, vote for a real American. Vote for John Kerry." (Paid for by Patriotic Sports Enthusiasts for John Kerry.)
