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Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" -- "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!" |
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Wednesday, February 11, 2004(Ihr wollt mehr Politik? Naja. Hier ist) die PolitikJoshua Marshall of Talking Points Memo continues breakin' niggas down like Evander Holyfield, if by niggas you mean the unfolding drama about old George Dubya's service in the Texas Air National Guard. For those of you who are paying only oblique attention to this whole imbroglio, let me make a couple of things clear for you, so that you're not distracted by the spin coming out of the White House via the president himself in his "Meet the Press" interview and spokesman Scott McClennan. 1) This issue is not "dirty politics." This is the ongoing effort to determine the factual record of George W. Bush's service in the National Guard. It's an endeavor to determine whether he's lying about that record, which it appears that he is. Though he said as recently as Sunday that he would make all the records available regarding his service, it appears he's already gone back on that promise, as Josh Marshall points out, apparently deeming the release of pay stubs, which are ambiguous and narrow in scope, to be sufficient. 2) This issue was not resolved in 2000. The story broke right before the election, but the press never fully pursued it, for whatever reason, and the White House has managed to dodge the issue, as they've done on any number of issues where the press and the government have requested pertinent records (Valerie Plame, the 9/11 commission, Cheney's task force minutes). After Sept. 11th, it was utterly abandoned. The press, like the coward in the movies who starts to feel his oats once the tide has clearly turned in his favor, has finally gotten its cajones back. 3) This matter is relevant. It's relevant because Bush has made his leadership as Commander in Chief a big issue. How many times did he mention the word "war" and "terror" in his "Meet the Press" interview? He's made it an issue with the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln stunt. He's made it an issue with his macho posturing on Iraq and al-Qaeda ("bring 'em on," "wanted: dead or alive," etc.) And now on we prance to other dandelion-dotted fields of inquiry. Al Gore has unveiled a new motto, unrelated to any current campaign, but to be employed in all future private and public endeavors: "Soy un Perdedor." Yes, Al Gore, as Lloyd said to Harry, "Boy! You are one pathetic loser!" You could tell, when Gore endorsed Howard Dean for president back in December (or was it January?), that he enjoyed flexing his political muscle as one of the most powerful leaders of the Democratic Party. Much was written about Al Gore taking over the mantle of symbolic leadership from Bill Clinton. And now Howard Dean is dead to rights. Gore's endorsement, it turns out, didn't do him a whole lot of good. Yesterday Dean was trounced in Gore's home state of Tennessee, as voters continue to shovel dirt onto Dean's political grave. One striking aspect of the endorsement was its timing. It came two months before the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire Primary, as Dean strove to deliver the knockout blow to his opponents before any of the voting had actually taken place. It goes to show how congenitally poor Al Gore's political instincts are. By the time Dean was getting hammered by the press and everyone else with a blunt instrument, his anti-war message having been co-opted by John Kerry, he had no ammo left in his belt, nothing new to deliver. Especially since he never seemed to establish a strong economic message. Gore's endorsement would have helped Dean so much more if it had come as the wave of attacks was starting to crest. Instead it was washed over and crushed into the rocks like every other positive result Dean had achieved up until that point. And now Gore has lost a friend, poor Joe Lieberman, with nothing to show for it. Maybe there's a tearful reconciliation in their future at the Lusty Perdedor restaurant and bar during a vacation in Mexico. Okay, a couple more things. I transcribed two things from TV over the weekend and I'm going to post them here and then add commentary later, including my overall impression of the "Meet the Press" interview. I need, incidentally, the guy who does "ER" promos to preview my coming postings, you know the guy with the deep, breathy voice who you can't tell whether he wants you to watch something or whether he's planning to come to your home and kill you? In place of, "On the next ER, it's the most shocking day ever for the ER staff, and then, the guy played by Mekhi Phifer faces the toughest decision of his life, even tougher than the one last week, which up until this one, was the all-time toughest," you'd have: "In tomorrow's Hornswaggler, in the most difficult posting of his life, Aaron Kinney bears his soul about John Edwards, and then, you don't miss the moment where he ponders how long it's been since he's eaten pistachio nut ice cream." .: posted by hornswaggler 12:57 PM| |
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