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Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" -- "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!" |
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Monday, April 05, 2004Ode to the HuskiesI lost a friendly wager with Joe Santos of Two Glasses, who is a University of Connecticut Huskies fan. UConn beat my old mother, Duke, in the Final Four, and now I've got to write something adulatory about them. It goes like this: "Emeka is big, and Emeka is tall Deng drove the lane, 'Ka pinned the ball. Okafor's parents I think are quite happy, New house on the way for mammy and pappy. He's also a scholar, a straight-A student. When a rat is mean, you might call it a "rudent." Guard Ben Gordon wears a Fumanchu And he's got more moves than Pikachu (who averaged thirty in the cartoon league), Gordon drove Duhon to the point of fatigue. Talik Brown ... didn't do all that much. Doesn't have that thing you call "shooting touch." But he got the W and that's all that matters, While Duke fans' hearts were left in tatters. Charlie Villanueva, not a good-looking guy, but he dropped in a hook like a tear from on high. No eyebrows to speak of nor hair on his head, But he'd score major poontang down at Club Med. Josh Boone looks a little like Tyrone Lue, But don't tell him that while he's playing with you, 'cause he'll bloody your face while boxing you out, get the loose ball and, heads up, call time out. Jim Calhoun enjoys the odd whiskey sour And he coaches the game like Rutger Hauer, while stalking that dude in the movie "The Hitcher," He'd be David Wells if he were a pitcher. Or what about Hauer in the film "Blade Runner"? Calhoun got a trophy back when Rip was his gunner. Now he's gunning for un trophy part deaux Their chances are good to get jug number two. With Emeka down low and Gordon up top, 'Twoud appear Tech's dreams are due to hit 'Stop.' " .: posted by hornswaggler 2:16 PM| |
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