Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Mo Football Mo Football Mo Football

The prospect of bringing back Dorsey Levens back to the Eagles now that Correll Buckhalter is depressing. Yeah, he's serviceable, and yeah, there needs to be at least one running back on the team that weighs more than 210 pounds, but still, the Eagles can do better, and I'm glad Reid has said he'll take some time to evaluate the backs on the roster before making a move.

Bruce Perry looks like he'll be cut in favor of Reno Mahe, which is unfortunate but understandable. If it were my call, I'd consider bringing in a guy with some size, like Tyrone Wheatley even, keep four halfbacks, including Perry, and cut Mahe, but that's not how it's going to happen. The good news for Perry is someone will pick him up.

Writers at the Inquirer and Dave Spadaro are bringing back the specter of the "three-headed monster" at the running back position, in talking about the loss of Buckhalter. The three-headed monster sucked and should never be spoken of in a positive light, much less brought back to the team. What a wrong-headed approach to running the ball. Has any other NFL coach in the modern era even done it? When the carries are split three ways, no one running back gets into a rhythm either week to week or within a game.

Brian Westbrook is arguably the Eagles' best offensive player, and should touch the ball 20-25 times per game. When he's tired, or when a change of pace is needed, bring in Ryan Moats. And if not Moats, whoever else the Eagles bring in to restock the position. Mahe is an emergency back and should never see the field unless there's an injury.

I'm amazed when I read Spadaro or hear that idiot Joe Theisman (ABC hiring him for Monday Night Football next year is such a mind-blowingly terrible decision) talk about how Mike McMahon "might" challenge Koy Detmer for the second quarterback spot. Might? All it takes is one glance at the two of them to determine that McMahon is a superior athlete and better player. Detmer will be kept around as a third-quarterback and, most important, as a holder on kicks. Detmer had one great game against the Niners a few years ago when he lifted them to an early lead on the road with McNabb out for the regular season, then got his elbow dislocated, but since then he's been a disappointment whose lack of size has really shown. He didn't play well after McNabb went out in the championship game against the Panthers in '04, and he didn't play well the last two games of the '04 regular season when McNabb was resting.

It's been so quiet lately on the Owens' front that it's hard to know what to think. But the Eagles will leave themselves vulnerable if they go into the regular season with 1) Owens 2) G. Lewis 3) Reggie Brown 4) Billy McMullen 5) Carlos Perez, simply because if Owens forces the Eagles hand and they have to send him home, they'll wish they'd picked up one of the veterans who are going to come loose in the next couple weeks, from Kevin Johnson (who I'm not at all enamoured with) to Peter Warrick. I'd pick someone up and then put Perez and Robert Redd on the practice squad, though Redd does add value at punt returns right now. (Why not try Moats there?)

Too bad for Isaac West, whose two dropped passes against the Ravens means he probably won't make the team. On the first, he made a really nice adjustment to the ball on a long throw down the left sideline, but the ball simply bounced off his hands as he went up over the cornerback to get it. On the second, a 10-yard out, the ball was thrown behind him. He had to catch both of those, but he really had to catch one of them.

.: posted by hornswaggler 5:06 PM

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