Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Goodbye TO!

Your apology today was nice, but sayanara, old friend.

My head gurgleth over with thoughts on the fact that Andy Reid reasserted control over the Eagles and got rid of TO, but I'm at a Kinko's and can't blog long.

I don't care if the Eagles lost 17-10 to the Redskins Sunday night. Correction. It was a painful loss. I cared. But that was my Eagles team stinking up the joint in the second half, not Terrell Owens'. His hijacking of my team is over.

The Eagles are not going to the Super Bowl this year. They may not be going to the playoffs (though I think people who are writing the Eagles off completely could be surprised; if the Eagles gel and starting clicking offensively and defensively, it's not out of the realm of possibility that they'll make a run.)

Chances are this is a recharging year, a down year; we finish 9-7 or 8-8, get a good 1st-round draft pick (read: pass-rushing defensive end), an easier schedule, and let McNabb get healthy.

Andy Reid finally ran the ball on Sunday againsts the Skins. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't very effective. That's what happens when your offensive line doesn't practice run-blocking or have significant game-time experience doing it. The more we do it, the better we'll be. If Sunday was a sign that Reid has come back to planet Earth with his offensive philosophy, that news is almost as good as TO's dismissal.

I'm not sure what personality disorder Terrell Owens has, if we were to consult the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, but there are two words or major traits that would be in the definition: Narcissist and Paranoid. TO is someone with an ingrained distrust, who was wounded at young age and remains extraordinarily sensitive to slights. His unconscious solution is to preen and parade and proclaim his magnificence; when things don't go well, it's always because he's the victim of persecution.

He's ruined his chances of ever getting a contract that even equals what the Eagles gave him in '04. If he had just kept his mouth shut, the Eagles probably would have kept him around next year and paid him the $7 million or so he was due in '06. If they'd cut him, then he still would have been able to go out and get another multi-year contract, though not one as lucrative as he imagines he deserves, considering his age, his attitude, and last year's knee/ankle injury.

Now, Chris Mortensen has it right -- a needy team will rent TO on a one-year contract, but there isn't a single team out there that will commit to a big, multi-year deal with Owens unless he undergoes a full-frontal lobotomy or agrees to incredibly stringent incentive clauses that would void the contract in the event of bad behavior.

PS -- What's up with these stupid ESPN fake news conferences? Last night Steve Phillips was pretending to be the GM of the Yankees and taking questions from ESPN reporters. Who the F cares? What is this crap? Cut it out. It's embarassing, almost as embarassing as the role ESPN played in the TO meltdown, from the interview that goaded him into trashing McNabb to Owens' de facto on-air advocate, Michael "I had a chance to talk to TO" Irvin, who is to Owens what Ken Mehlman is to the Bush White House.

PPS -- Just read the account of Owens' press conference. He said all the right things, not that there is any reason to think it would change Andy Reid's mind, but then the whole effect was ruined when scumbag agent Drew Rosenhaus started talking, complaining that media treatment of TO is unfair (playing further into the whole victim/persecution complex), getting agitated and strident (not the tone to strike here), and having the gall to suggest Owens could play on Monday against the Cowboys.

.: posted by hornswaggler 1:53 PM

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