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Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" -- "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!" |
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Sunday, April 18, 2010Onward and upwardI've seen a few episodes of MTV's "16 and Pregnant." That's the bad news. The good news is my belief that our country is doomed has been further substantiated. In one installment, a girl named Chelsea's lout of a boyfriend, Adam, breaks up with her shortly after she gives birth. After months of caring for the child on her own, she decides that she will attend her high school's homecoming football game while her father looks after the baby, just to give herself one night of teenage normalcy. The next day she receives a text from Adam that reads: "hrd u went out...way 2b a good mom." She calls him to ask why he would say something like that. He is rude to her. They hang up. Then he sends her, completely unprovoked, the following text message: "no i want u to feel like the most worthless stupid f--- in the world u better beleive its so over for the rest of ourlives ya fat stretch mark b---- tell me where and wen to sign the papers over for that mistake." I believe that, if Chelsea's father murdered Adam and the jury in his trial saw that message, not only would they vote to acquit, they would probably nominate him for a medal. The scary thing is that, up until those texts, Adam wasn't the most despicable young man I'd seen on the show. Here's what I've learned from "16 and Pregnant": 1) MTV is not just scraping the bottom of the barrel, they're burrowing into it. They're emptying full barrels just to get at the dregs. 2) Bit of an obvious point here, but 16-year-old boys are not equipped to be fathers. Not in this culture, anyway. Maybe in some Amazonian tribe where at 13 boys are tattooed, circumcised with a sharpened rock and beaten with bamboo sticks before being sent out into the jungle for a hallucinogenic journey of self-discovery. But not in 21st-century America. .: posted by hornswaggler 10:41 AM| |
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