Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction
Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of
hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my
pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --
"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers,
bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits,
vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers,
buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train
robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"
I was listening to the Elvis channel on Sirius/XM the other day and heard "You Were Always on My Mind." Nice tune, but this has to be one of the most unpersuasive love songs in the annals of American music. Consider the lyrics:
Maybe I didn't treat you Quite as good as I should have Maybe I didn't love you Quite as often as I could have Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
Maybe I didn't hold you All those lonely, lonely times And I guess I never told you I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best Girl I'm so sorry I was blind You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, satisfied
Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time You were always on my mind You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
In other words: I took you for granted. I didn't make you feel special. Physically, I wasn't what you'd call affectionate. I didn't give you flowers or do other things to show you I cared about you. But! And this is a big "but." I thought about you a lot. When I was out there on the road, even when I was with other women, you were always on my mind, right up there with football, beer, music, and those other women I just mentioned. Now, yes -- you might think that, what with you always being on my mind and all, I might have done something about it or made an effort to show I cared. That's a good point. The explanation there is that I'm pretty much a lazy, careless guy. Anyway, you want to give this thing another shot? No? Okay, well, you mind if I crash here tonight on the couch or something? Doreen kicked me out.
