Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Monday, August 19, 2002

Am I going to write up my impressions of the Eagles game on Saturday? You're damn right I am. You are darned tootin', buster. To the 3 of my 5 readers who are not into sports, I feel your pain, and I will warn you ahead of time that my obsessive compulsive disorder wrt sports is about to manifest itself.

So I guess old Condy Rice was doing some work down at the Greenbrier resort (see below) twixt tennis lessons, because on Thursday she was in front of the press spinning the war against Iraq again. Gee, it seems like such a good idea, doesn't it? I don't think those weird, swarthy* people over there hate us enough. Nor do I believe that the Middle East is enough of a festering breeding ground for terrorists. I want impoverished children whose fathers are dead, mothers are maimed and siblings are either dead or dispersed, children who are at the mercy of state propaganda designed to portray the United States as evil, I want these children to hate the U.S. with every fiber of their being by, say, age 6 at the latest. -- "And Saint Antioch held the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it we might smash thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' "

*Irony asterix. Whenever you see the irony asterix, you can safely assume yer old buddy AcK is being silly again. "Ha ha!" you may feel free to exclaim. "That old card Kinney is at it again! Truly hysterical, indeed! Thank you, irony asterix!" Furthermore, you are not allowed to take the word or words indicated by the irony asterix literally, or penalties will be created and enforced.

.: posted by hornswaggler 3:20 PM

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