Quickly back to Spiderman. Many of my guy friends scampered to see Kirsten Dunst in Maxim or whatever after the scene in Spiderman where her tits are hosed down and framed like the Baby Jesus in a medieval painting of the Madonna and Child. You know what I'm talking about -- the scene with the famous, "sexy" upside-down kiss. And you know the scene I'm talking about because of the overwhelming film industry hype surrounding the film and, in particular, this scene. Many of my friends now consider Dunst to be hot. Not me. I think Mary Jane is an A number one skank.
Incidentally, Dunst's wet t-shirt moment ranks second all-time in terms of Hollywood tit-framing to Jennifer Love Hewitt in the "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" posters. Gadzooks! Swaddle those melons in blankets and present them with gold, frankincense and myrh.
But the most obnoxious moments of the film, for me, are the phony post-Sept. 11, pro-New York unity moments towards the end. First, all the people on the bridge during the Spidey/Green Goblin showdown throwing shit at the Goblin and shouting, "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" Second, the very last scene, with Spiderman crouched atop a skyscraper and a huge, billowing American flag. If this escapist garbage/video game-cum-movie is where Americans are going to rally themselves for the challenges presented by the "War on Terror," God help us.