Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction
Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of
hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my
pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --
"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers,
bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits,
vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers,
buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train
robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"
Let the word go out that my wet pussy journal is made by a 100% real hot-blooded woman. I heard from her and have received assurances. She found out about my references to her site because some of you, my special special friends, clicked through to her website. That's what I'm fucking talking about, baby! That is proactive clicking and pointing and overall mouse utilization. Evidently she has the old counters and trackers on her site. I am a freaking Luddite, plus I've always figured it would just be too depressing to check how many people actually read this thing. Maybe now is the time to start.
Now I have another task for you, my minions. Oh yes. Go to blogger.com and write them, I don't know how you send comments that are non tech support related, and request that I be on the exalted Blogs of Note list. Because it's insulting that I'm not there yet.
They've got like Spiffy McDougal's Personal Hickstory, e.g. "I ated a marshmallow square today!", and Staci Edelman's Bitching About Minutiae Blog, e.g. "And I got to work today and somebody had eaten all the blueberry bagels, and there was only honey butter spread left and like a garlic bagel and those obviously do NOT go together so I'm totally in a bad mood right now. So I was downloading an MP3 of Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" when my boss came by and gave me shit about my powerpoint presentation and I wanted to strangle him with my leopard print thong. He's like so fat and disgusting, not like that cute boy who's temping at reception, I'd totally bone him ... "
The point being this is not the Mensa club or anything, so let's get cracking.
Police Talk: Excerpt of report taken by Sgt. Trevor McNealy: " ... As I approached the ve-hi-cle, I noticed the subject in the passenger seat slumped down. The driver ex-ited the ve-hi-cle. He was clearly in-tox-i-cat-ed and stumbling. The suspect produced a weapon, so I drew my firearm and fired three rounds, missing the subject, who fell to the ground of an apparent cardiac episode. I apprehended and subdued the suspect while calling for backup. I then extracted a Snickers bar from the left front pocket of my uniform pants and proceeded to unwrap it ... "
