Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Hornswaggler
Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

It's the Life ticket

Thank the Lord! Kerry chose Edwards. As opposed to, say, Dick Gephart, with whom Kerry would have joined to form the oh so fresh and exciting Cadaver ticket.

Edwards will prove to be a big target for Bush-Cheney in his opposition to NAFTA but A) So what? B) It is so easy to defend one's opposition to NAFTA, it makes one wonder, how retarded are these Democrats anyway?

If you're opposed to NAFTA, then you don't have a problem with the American workers, because they'll back you. When you explain your position to the wealthy, all you have to do is say, look, I'm not opposed to free trade, the fact of the matter is that NAFTA is a flawed agreement on a number of levels that has to be reformed and refined.

Wealthy Americans are generally, ipso facto, not incredibly stupid. They know the Democratic Party is almost as much of a whore to Big Business as the GOP. They'll be taken care of.

This makes me think of how the liberals and progressives need to change the terms of debate when it comes to the free market and free trade, but that's a lengthy subject that deserves more thought than I can afford to give it right now.

Let's return to Edwards and imagine him at the podium during the Vice Presidential Debates, chipper, boyish, exuding charisma, then follow the camera as it pans over to Dick Cheney, dour and saturnine, his approval rating having hit an all-time low by this point with voters, let's watch as Cheney's aides open up the hatch in his humped back and pour in the oil in preparation for the debate.

Meanwhile, I woke up this morning with renewed optimism that George W. Bush will suffer an on-camera meltdown at some point in this election campaign. If there are any people out there who know how to cast spells, just to give us that extra edge, I would say go for it, but you didn't hear it from me.

.: posted by hornswaggler 1:35 PM


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