Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Friday, April 15, 2005

Vitriolic Amazon Reviewer

I came across this guy on Amazon.com and his reviews are savage and amusing. Some samples:

On the band My Chemical: "this isn't punk, this isn't rock, this is good charlotte with swear words. only fat people with no friends listen to this crap."

On the band Harvery Milk: "if you don't own this, then go crawl into a hole and die."

On Green Day: "this band holds no relevance and anyone who likes them is a disgrace to mankind."

Or there's his Listmania list entitled, "If you own this album, you fail at life," in which he writes about Taking Back Sunday's album, "Tell All Your Friends," "tell all your friends, that if they own this album, to stop wasting my air."

I came across this dude while looking at information on the Grateful Dead's "American Beauty," because Jerry Garcia plays pedal steel on it and I was looking up info on the pedal steel guitar. Suffice to say, this guy Jonathan/P. Haukus, does not like the Dead. Here's how he began his review of that album, which is one of my all-time favorites:

"good god am i glad he's dead. now only if all of this band's fans could follow his example. this band is, without a doubt, one of the most worthless bands in the history of rock n roll."

Typically, when you refer to Jerry Garcia as a "horrible lead singer" and piss on his grave, those are fightin' words. But I don't hold it against Mr. Haukus because he's an equal opportunity offender. It's clear his musical tastes skew towards metal and the kind of loud, aggressive music that I tend to disdain. But he's eclectic in his tastes. "8 1/2" is his favorite movie - it's also mine - so he's got that going for him. Anyway, it's an amusing read to cycle through his stuff.

.: posted by hornswaggler 3:34 PM

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