Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Eagles (and a quick word about the Miami Heat)

The situation with Terrell Owens right now looks really ugly. He's not speaking to his teammates. He won't be satisfied without a new contract, but it doesn't appear he's going to get one, judging from what's been said.

The most important words spoken yesterday about the talks between Owens and the Eagles came from Owens' agent Drew Rosenhaus (emphasis added): "We had an opportunity to say some things. They had an opportunity to say some things. One thing I did commit was we are going to keep everything quiet. We're happy that we had the opportunity to visit."

The reason that's vitally important is the following: The only way this thing is going to work out favorably, without Owens' departing to another team, is if the Eagles somehow give Owens and Rosenhaus private assurances that they'll do something to improve the terms of Owens' contract so long as he remains in camp and plays the good soldier for some period of time, be that until the regular season or through 8 games or once the season if over. Unless that's the case, there is little reason for optimism here, because the Eagles haven't budged from their non-renegotiation stance.

But don't speak any negative words to Dave Spadaro, who runs the Eagles' Web site. Switching into "Shill from Planet Zork" mode, Spadaro yesterday wrote the following:

"Terrell Owens? The Eagles and Owens and agent Drew Rosenhaus met on Tuesday. Joe Banner and Andy Reid talked with Owens and Rosenhaus and got on the same page in this regard: It's all about football now. Owens is going to be focused on winning a Super Bowl with the Eagles. Period. He promised to say nothing controversial. Nothing negative."

Okay there, dipshit. Whatever.

Hold the presses. I see Owens talked to the media today. But it's too late to redo this, so I'll leave as is, though I haven't read Owens' comments yet.

I will finish my NFL preseason analysis, I swear.

As for the Miami Heat: It's fine they added Antoine Walker, but Jason Williams? Are they f'ing stupid? Adding two mental patients to a team that should have gone to the finals this past spring? Jason Williams will be nothing but a liability for that team. They could have found a point guard elsewhere.

.: posted by hornswaggler 5:08 PM

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