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Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" -- "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!" |
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009That was nice. What's on TV tonight? (Updated) Now that President Barack Obama has been sworn in as the first African-American president blah blah blah and the historic nature of the yada yada yada ... it's time for something way more important: tonight's fifth-season premiere of "Lost." And it's not one of those evil, fake two-hour premieres consisting of last year's finale and this year's premiere. It's the geniune article: two new episodes. Be advised: Mind-boner Threat Level is Elevated. For serious, nerdy "Lost" fans, Jeff Jensen at Entertainment Weekly is indispensable reading. He's easily the best among any writers following the show for mainstream publications, not only because he's smart and witty but also because he's a full-blown psycho-fan. (That said, today's preview isn't his best effort.) There's also lots of blogs out there devoted to "Lost," but none of them have really captured my attention as well as my deranged and futile attempts to figure out the underlying mythology of the show like Big Mouth's "Lost" blog. His postulates about the show don't always work out, but he has a unique ability to put the scattered pieces of the "Lost" puzzle together and concoct theories -- drawing from diverse sources of inspiration, from physics to literature -- that are engaging and entertaining. So to mark the beginning of season five, I asked him for his take on a few of the basic questions surrounding the Island. He was kind enough to take some time to craft his responses and email them back: Q: Do you think there are any surviving members of the Four Toes society? (Aside, apparently, from the Smoke Monster.) Is Jacob's possible bid to inhabit Aaron tied to a resurrection of the Four Toes? BM: No, I believe the Four Toes died off long ago in some cataclysm involving the volcano. All that remains of their ancient civilization are relics of its arbitrarily advanced technology like the Frozen Donkey Wheel and Smokey. Since the Four Toes' demise, however, others have discovered the Island and exploited this technology. Jacob is the ghost of a powerful psychic who died on the Island and remains trapped in its machine. I think he's been scheming to escape for some time, much like Kelvin planned to ditch the Swan. Kelvin's getaway vehicle was going to be Desmond's boat. Jacob's vessel is his own great-great grandson, Aaron Littleton. Q: What's your theory as to who the people are in Richard Alpert's group of Others? Are any of them descended from the shipmates on the Black Rock? Before the arrival of the freighter, do you think there were any other people on the island besides the Others? BM: I think most of the Others were recruited as described by Mikhail and depicted in Juliet's flashback. I suspect they're trying to save the world like Dharma, albeit using different means. Whereas Dharma relied on the power of physical science, the Others exploit mental science (i.e., psychic power), which is why they covet special children like Walt. So, for the most part, I don't believe the Others are connected to the crew of the Black Rock. Two potential exceptions may be Jacob and Richard. One of my more whackadoo speculations is that Jacob was the sole survivor of the shipwreck and that Smokey resurrected Richard, which is why he never ages. Q: Why is the room in which the Frozen Donkey Wheel is located beneath the Orchid so cold? Is the Dharma Initiative providing the power to keep it frigid and prevent the island from moving? BM: Like I said, I think the Frozen Donkey Wheel is a relic of the Four Toes' arbitrarily advanced technology. My guess is they designed it to be very cold for reasons of power efficiency. The Large Hadron Collider is kept at a temperature of -456F/-270C to make its magnets superconducting. The FDW is presumably a far more advanced version of the same superconducting technology used by the LHC. I'm not sure why one would freeze the FDW to keep the Island from moving. Why not just use a giant lock? Then again, Michael freezing the bomb battery with CO2 to prevent it from exploding could be a metaphor for the FDW. Perhaps the extreme cold prevents some physical reaction from occurring that moves the Island. Regardless, I think the refrigeration is another relic of the Fourtoes. The power source is probably the pocket of negatively charged exotic matter mentioned in the Orchid Orientation. Alternatively, references on the Blast Door Map to "HEAVY WATER" may indicate the Island is a natural fusion reactor. I'll miss the beard most of all Season five begins with Ben Linus convincing Jack to round up the Oceanic 6 and head back to the Island. Which means it's time for Jack to sober up and shave off his scuzzy beard.  I have to say I've really enjoyed Matthew Fox's portrayal of drunken, drug-addled, depressed, bearded Jack. His character had gotten too whiny in previous seasons, so it was a nice change of pace to see him in I-don't-give-a-fuck mode. There's also some comedy, some of it perhaps unintentional, in his delivery and twitchy mannerisms, but overall I think it's pretty good acting. So farewell, crazy bearded Jack! And here's hoping that, in the final two seasons, clean-shaven Jack is more badass and less petulant than he's been at times in previous seasons. .: posted by hornswaggler 9:53 AM| |
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