Will Ferrell's mostly* one-man show, "You're Welcome America," as broadcast on HBO, doesn't live up to the simple brilliance of its title. There are slow parts and bits that are inconsistent with the character Ferrell has established, but if you're a fan, it's worth checking out. I watched it in fits and starts over a few weeks. Some highlights:
-- "This ranch means so much to me and Laura. Nothing's more American or therapeutic, in my opinion, than obsessively clearing brush."
-- Here he's telling a made-up story about getting trapped in an abandoned mineshaft on the Crawford property with his father and three brothers: "And just then, as my dad was about to lunge for my neck, we heard some rocks moving, and outside was my mom, all ripped and muscular, throwing boulders away from the opening of the mine shaft. She then pulled us out one by one and placed us on a cart, and then pulled the cart like a powerful draft horse all the way back home, her deltoids twitching, her loins covered in a milky white froth. It was one of the most gross and impressive things I've ever seen."
-- "And yes, one time I did walk in on Dick Cheney down in the basement of the White House, and he was being fucked by a giant goat-devil in a room full of pentagrams, and he looked up at me with solid silver, glowing, orblike eyes, and his breath had a strong ammonia scent to it. And he told me in a language that I knew in my heart had not been spoken in over a thousand years, '(unintelligible).' And I just ran. I just got the hell out of there."
Incidentally, if you've never seen Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet on Conan O'Brien, you should do so now, because it's funny.
*There's a scene with Pia Glenn, the girlfriend of Salman Rushdie, as Condoleezza Rice, in which she's basically a dancing sex demon.