Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Celebrity sightings

So one of the reasons for the shameful lack of posts lately is that my weekends have been pretty busy, including two three-day trips to Big Sur and Carlsbad, respectively.

Spotted on a bench at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park and later at a table for two at Sierra Mar restaurant on Aug. 15: Ray Liotta and a blonde woman in her late 30s or early 40s (actually looks like it was this woman, who's pretty well put together for 53, I must say). His hair is now a mixture of gray and white, and he's not as skinny as he used to be. He also seems to have some kind of weird aversion to people staring at him. I bothered my wife the rest of the weekend with repeated queries about what "Lee-oats" was up to and whether we'd run into him again.

Incidentally, the steak fries at the Big Sur Bakery and Restaurant are phenomenal. Steak fries are almost never good, because the inside tends to be flavorless and mealy, but these things were perfectly seasoned and delicious. I hear the breakfast pizza is also good, but we didn't get a chance to try it. And if you go to Nepenthe for lunch, I highly recommend the grilled chicken breast sandwich. The roll is terrific, the chicken is pounded flat and juicy, and the chipotle mayo is a perfect complement. Bonus points for calling it mayo and not "aioli," which has somehow become a catch-all term for "mayo with some other shit in it."

Spotted last weekend at La Costa Resort and Spa with his wife and young daughter: Evan Handler. Sadly, I've seen enough "Sex and the City" to have an opinion about his role on that show, which is that someone as attractive as Charlotte would never marry a short, nebishy-looking guy with a shaved head (even if her Ditzy Prude personality arguably made her more inclined to a make an unconventional choice of spouse). No offense.

Handler's daughter had some blemishes on her face -- no doubt some minor, passing ailment -- that my father-in-law diagnosed as chicken pox, and when I found myself standing in Handler's vicinity at the valet station while carrying my 2-year-old niece, he uttered the words "chicken pox" in my direction, prompting me to pirouette and back away to avoid any chance of infection. The warning was probably just loud enough for Handler to hear. So between glancing at my boy Lee-Oats one or seven too many times at dinner and being a party to insulting Handler, I suppose I established a connection with both these Hollywood worthies.

Spotted while driving south on Highway 1 in Big Sur: at least two California condors, celebrities of the animal kingdom, wheeling above the road among a group of about five large birds. These birds are as ugly as the day is long. If I had to equate them to a real-life celeb, I think I'd go with David Caruso.

.: posted by hornswaggler 8:46 AM

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