Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction
Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of
hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my
pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --
"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers,
bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits,
vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers,
buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train
robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"
Bill Simmons likes to talk about what ifs, eg what if Portland hadn't taken Sam Bowie with the No. 2 pick in the draft over Michael Jordan.
Here's a good football what if: What if the Cincinnati Bengals had taken DeSean Jackson with the 46th pick in the 2008 NFL draft instead of Jerome Simpson? There probably wouldn't be so many people predicting that they'll get knocked out in the first round today by the Jets, for one thing.
Simpson was the sixth wide receiver taken in that draft. The Eagles took Jackson three spots later with the 49th pick. Simpson has one catch in his professional career. Jackson made the Pro Bowl this year both as a receiver and punt returner and is up there with Chris Johnson as one of the most dangerous offensive players in the NFL.
And having Jackson would solve the Bengals' biggest problem this year: their inability to stretch the field on offense or make any big plays. Putting Jackson on the roster would transform the Bengals from a group that, regardless of what happens today, will not survive the second round of the playoffs, to a Super Bowl favorite.
As an Eagles fan, I have to say "Thanks, Mike Brown!" for another shaky personnel move.
As for the game against the Cowboys tonight, I'm hoping for the best but fearing the worst. We need DeSean to have a big day and back up that ill-advised bulletin board material he gave Dallas this week. Players never seem to be able to back up pregame trash talk (look at Chad Ochocinco last week), but maybe DeSean's the guy to do it.