Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Monday, March 29, 2010

The future of journalism

I recently stumbled across what may be worst news site on the Internet. I haven't been able to figure out what it is exactly, and it's frankly not worth the effort to investigate further, but it reads like it's put together by a small cadre of English-speaking idiots and English-as-a-second-language dropouts somewhere in the Eastern hemisphere with free translating software. It's so bad it's good.

Here, for your reading pleasure, is an item on the death of Corey Haim:

The far famed, Canadian role player named as the C. Haim passed away of the pulmonary congestion, as per to the L. A. county’s coroner office annunciation on the very day of Thurs.

The Coroner office stated that the very Mum of the thirty-eight yr old told to them that the demise of the erstwhile teenage idol known to all as the Cory Haim, actually had zero to do with the drug factor as has been previously thought and all to do with the pulmonary congestion, the drug factor as well as the o.d. of it as has antecedently been suspected is actually not the cause behindhand of his death.

That one feels like it was written as a side project by a Nigerian scammer. I'm surprised there isn't malware that begins withdrawing money from your checking account as soon as you click on a story.

If it's captivating sports writing you want, how about this entry on Duke's victory over Baylor yesterday:

The Duke University gave a tough match to the Baylor University at the National Collegiate Athletic Association tournament. The team has reached to the final four at the National Collegiate Athletic Association. It is the fifteenth time the team has reached the final four event of the National Collegiate Athletic Association tournament. The Duke University won the National Collegiate Athletic Association elite eight rounds by 78-71.The Duke University will play against the Butler University in the final four season of the National Collegiate Athletic Association tournament.

(Psst, Adewale! Duke is playing West Virginia.)

Other entries feel like a community college student approximating tabloid journalism.

The "About" section is vague as to the site's provenance -- all the authors have suspiciously all-American monikers -- but it includes even more comically bad linguistic errors:

(Our) Design & Development team provide viewers the best navigation and feel possible, so that our viewers can spend more time on our website without hearting their eyes and brains, our designers team have not used sharp colours on Makli.com because sharp and vivid colours can be eye teasing and can produce headache to viewers. Cool looking graphics can be more relaxing to brain and eyes and viewers can spend much more time on Makli.com looking for latest news.

The crazy thing is people are advertising on this thing. Come on, advertisers! If that site passes muster, then what about Hornswaggler? What's that? Lack of page views? Oh, I see.

.: posted by hornswaggler 7:54 AM

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