Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The art of sitting down

ANNOUNCER: For more on Tim Tebow and where he may be taken in the draft, let's go to Steve McTrite.

MCTRITE: Jim, I had a chance to sit down with Tim Tebow this week. I didn't talk to him. We just sat down and then gazed intently at each other for a few seconds. But I have to tell you I came away impressed. He is a very polished sitter. His mechanics are smooth. He's really tightened up his delivery as far as getting his buttocks onto the chair. I won't be at all surprised if someone takes a chance on him late in the first round.


ANNOUNCER: Our own Steve McTrite had a chance to sit down with Tebow this week. Steve, what did you find out?

MCTRITE: Well, not much, Jim.

ANNOUNCER: Steve, you must have learned something.

MCTRITE: I suppose I learned that he has a firm handshake and a steady gaze.

ANNOUNCER: Ha ha! Seriously though, Steve. He didn't say anything that would be of interest to the millions of people who are watching our program right now?

MCTRITE: We didn't really talk, Jim. We introduced ourselves, and that was pretty much it.

ANNOUNCER: Steve, your job there was to have a conversation with him.

MCTRITE: That's not what I was told, Jim. I was told to sit down with him, and that's what I did. We sat down, we looked at each other for a little while, and then I got up and left.

ANNOUNCER: It appears you took your instructions too literally, Steve. And you've caused me, and this network, no small measure of embarrassment.

MCTRITE: Perhaps I did. And I suppose I have.

ANNOUNCER: I'm going to take the liberty of firing you. I'm sure our producers will be okay with it.

MCTRITE: Sounds terrific.

.: posted by hornswaggler 8:25 AM

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