Hornswaggler | The culture, the humor, a bit of the sports, not so much the politics, and the workplace distraction

Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" --

"I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!"

Culture, Humor, Sports
Workplace Distraction

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


You've probably already seen this, but here's the spoof of LeBron's "Decision" on the ESPYs. The ESPYs is one of the dumbest, most cringe-inducing events ever conceived for television, and actually stems from the same sort of faulty thinking that led ESPN to host a one-hour program on LeBron James' choice of teams, but they hired Seth Meyers to do it, and he's funny, so there you go.

Anyway, one lingering thought on LeBron. During his interview that night, he talked about how his real or true fans would stick by him and support his decision. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what a real sports fan is, and I imagine it's a misconception that's pretty widespread among young athletes today who become celebrities as teenagers.

Real fans are the ones who are loyal to teams, not individuals. Frontrunners who just like the guy who's on top are the exact opposite of real fans. They're posers. The ones who live and die for their teams are the ones who pack* arenas, buying overpriced food and merchandise for their kids, and pay the insane salaries of today's players. If the only fans out there were like that clown ESPN showed celebrating in a Miami sports bar that night wearing LeBron's Cavaliers jersey, LeBron would be out looking for a real job.

Like all kids my age, I was a Michael Jordan fan. But when the Bulls played the Sixers, I rooted (in vain) for the Sixers to beat him. If Jordan had started out in Philly and then dissed us like LeBron did Cleveland, I would have neither remained a Jordan fan nor transferred my allegiance to his new team.

LeBron's a decent guy and hard to dislike. He was clearly led astray by his advisers. But I'm looking forward to the savage booing he gets when Miami visits Cleveland. That'll be his best lesson yet in real fandom.

*Perhaps "lightly sprinkle" would be more apt these days.

.: posted by hornswaggler 8:37 AM

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