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Hornswaggle is an alternate spelling of hornswoggle, an archaic word that means to bamboozle or hoodwink. I take my pronunciation from the late Harvey Korman in "Blazing Saddles" -- "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists!" |
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Thursday, January 06, 2011Post-Christmas cheerWould have blogged this a couple weeks ago, but, you know: baby. Anyway, I was thinking about Christmas tree netting. Could the human race devise something worse for aquatic life if it tried? Besides dumping all the world's toxic waste in the ocean at once. We've been told for years that plastic six-pack holder thingies are bad for marine animals because they can get caught in it and die. Well, Christmas tree netting is like several dozen six-pack holders linked together, only more tangly and pernicious. And why do they exist? Because when Americans drive their SUVs to Christmas tree lots to bring home evergreens that otherwise might have absorbed greenhouse gasses, they need their interaction with the tree to be as comfortable as possible. God forbid they scratch themselves or their vehicles or get needles on their carpet. Hence Xmas tree netting, which after serving its purpose for half an hour begins its long journey to the Pacific garbage patch to feast on dolphins and turtles. .: posted by hornswaggler 10:02 PM| |
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